The reality of romanticization

All the bad things I have to say...Please don't hate me :)

You’ve heard the term romanticizing everywhere. Everyone and their grandma know what it implies and why one should seek to practice this almost ritual every day. But a refresher for those who don’t know what the term means— ‘romanticizing life’ means seeing your life in a positive and idealized light and taking the time to appreciate the little moments in your life.

Now my question is how often do you romanticize your life? The key word that I am looking at in the above definition is idealized. The meaning of idealized is to represent something in a way that is perfect or better than reality, often ignoring its flaws and complexity. And this wonderful word then makes me think if we are indeed living in a lie and not actually romanticizing our lives.

One can romanticize just about anything in their life. From school, selfcare, reading, cooking, writing, literally just about anything. For example, lighting up a little candle for your studies. Or buying a cute water bottle to help you drink water or better yet buying cute things to help you do whatever it is you want to do. Notice how with everything that I have mentioned there is some form of consumerism taking place. To romanticize is to consume.

But before I get into that I mentioned how romanticizing can be a lie. Why do we constantly have the urge to perfect everything in our lives. To make it better than reality. Why do you feel that urge? Well the answer is simple you want to be the main character and feel as though your life is slightly better than everyone. Which is fine, I guess, well if it makes you sleep at night. One of my recent post talks about the art of boredom. This post talks about the luxury of being bored, of course. But there’s something in those moments that one doesn’t realize. When you sit or lay in the sun in your bedroom, with the sun biting off your dead skin, you don’t seek perfection. Because in that act alone there is so much hidden beauty that one doesn’t realize or talk about. The silence, the baggy clothes—in my case wrinkly baggy clothes and the sun. Your room might not be bedazzled with posters, or the latest bedsheet covers. Your desk is chipping away and your laptop that you’ve had since 8th grade (don’t really know about the grading system but anyways) sits at that desk relishing in that intimate moment.

To live is to experience. And to experience you need the flaws and the harsh reality. When you romanticize life, you’re running away from that notion. You’re seeking something impossible. Well, it is possible but is it genuine, is it you? Which then brings me to my next question. Is your current self really who you want to be. When you go on Pinterest, because it is the mother of romanticization. You see all this brain stimulating pictures. Girls that look like angels. They wear clothes you can never dream of owning and drink drinks that will surely leave a bitter taste on your tongue. But you like it anyway because it looks good. And then you get this idea that you want to be like those girls. Hot every day, coffee every morning, outings every week. But do you like being that kind of girl or was it something you liked seeing on someone else.

When I go out, I see so many beautiful women and they all have different tastes, well a handful of them. But it’s often hard to distinguish what we like or what we have convinced ourselves to like. The culture of trends, I guess, has made us try to convince ourselves that we like whatever is trendy. If boots are in, we force ourselves to like boots because they’re cute. We influence each other into being someone we are not. Which leads back to romanticizing. Why do we have to light a candle to love journaling. Why can’t we journal on our old carpet, with a pen running out of ink. Why can’t we just drink juice for breakfast instead of morning matcha. Why can’t we read without a lavish bookshelf behind us and a reading nook? Why do we add things on things we should solely be experiencing by themselves. Reading when you’re on the toilet because the book is that good or because you’re trying to cut down screentime. Why do we have to ignore the flaws? Why does everything have to be perfect?

Now don’t get me wrong, romanticizing is cool and all. And do it if it makes you happy, but don’t let it mold you into a person you’re not. Just because you don’t have a cute mug, that doesn’t mean you can’t drink your milk tea. Just because you don’t have a cute gym wear set doesn’t mean you can’t workout, because if you have a cute gym set God forbid that workout will not be so hard. Reality check, cute gym set or not you’ll still suffer doing that plank either way.

But all that out of the way. Romanticizing life means to consume. I said this earlier, and I still stand by it. When people often promote romanticization, there is an act of consuming. Of buying the things necessary to fully live in a dream like world. Actually, I once did this. I was still on Instagram and one of my followers asked me how they can romanticize their lives or rather writing on paper. And i was quick to say, buy a cute book and also a cute pen and maybe light a candle too. And all of this encourages people to buy shit. Why do you need a cute book to just write something? I will admit though I am such a stationery lover, so I am always buying stationery but that’s beside the point. The point is the girl went on and said oh right now I don’t have any money but when I do, I will buy the book and a pen then will I try it. And my shoulders literally slumped. Being told that for you to be able to do something, you need the necessary tools to just be able to practice whatever it is, is crazy. Not being able to write because you don’t have a cute pen???? And I felt so bad. It felt like I just shattered that interest of writing on paper for her. I think this is when I also started to slowly back out of the romanticization loop.

Overconsumption leads to the earth’s depletion and of course an incease in child labor. The need to buy things all the time—things that are now trendy and when they’re no longer trendy you toss them aside. I am really exposing myself today, but I didn’t end up doing it, so... At the start of the year, I bought a water bottle, and I still have it. And I always found myself going into this stationery shop that sells literally everything I physically want. And I saw a cuter water bottle and I contemplated on buying. I was sooooo close to buying that bottle, like putting it in my basket close. And my sister said don’t you already have one. And being the smart ass I am, I said, it wouldn’t hurt to have two… Spoiler alert, yes it would Anna—it would hurt. After my sister said that I did some more thinking and obviously knew she was right. I didn’t need a new bottle because I already had one in perfect condition. Buying things means a rise in demand for them, which means an exhaustion of resources and the inevitable death of the earth. So just a quick reminder, think twice before you buy something you know you’ll not use in 3 days’ time. Yes, it might be cute but what about next Tuesday, will it still be?